If I had access to that vaccine that gave eternal life, I’d pilfer and kill for that shit to insist that I’d be the only man on earth to be in possession of the key to eternity.

I’d inject every sexy woman with it, though!

Women and I could live happily ever after in perpetuity copulating every second of the day all over the planet.

I have a salacious appetite for the opposite sex. So, you can say that I’m a jealous-ass motherfucker. I hate to share. In elementary and high school, I always received  “Ns” and a gang of that letter “U” when it came down to working well with others.

Surprisingly, I’m on the same accord with a tasty-ass headliner when we’re in the sack, though.

Go figure.

A lick of the asshole here, a tug at the clitoris there and voilà: oral sex has officially begun.

I fasten my countenance to a willing participant’s basement and carry on with such disarray. Most times my pussy-eating schemes are unorthodox. I don’t even want myself to know where I’m heading.

Other times, I function in a controlled environment coming at the vajayjay with a playbook in tow.

My dear, the only thing I ask is that you get into this lecherous chaos and relax yourself. Let my face take you to another world. My budding mouthpiece is anxious to couple with your bottom’s floor and mop it with pride like a South Atlanta High School janitor does his. Just let me clean you up, and I promise I won’t miss a spot.

Every follicle, bump, wrinkle and stretch mark will consummate with my mouth. Your engorged clit and wanton ass is fit for the oral nudge or firm shake also. However you want this sexual occurrence to appear is your choice.

I’m just here to pack your backside and what’s in between your legs with an endless package of my oral feat.

Don’t be deterred, just get your fill.

Open up those asscheeks.

Take this tongue.

Scream if you’d like.

Maybe even pack your lunch. I’m here for the long run to rape and pillage that hiny. I’m yours whenever however, my darling.

Keep in touch.

Would you like my numerous injections of my ejaculation in your anal or vaginal holes? Call me, and I’ll supply you with the nastiness I suppose.

Let me go on ahead and cut through this red tape: I hear a lot of brothers aren’t licking the pooh nanny, and even a greater percentage of cats don’t want to taste at the ass.

Carpe diem and the pussy and ass, I say.

You know, that leaves a lot of pussies and asses out in the rain. Don’t worry, Boo. I’m inviting you into my sanctuary, and I’m drying you off placing those wet clothes in my dryer. You don’t need attire for what we’re about to get into anyway. This is going to be a torrid love affair, the mark of a new chapter in your life.

You’re here for a reason.

Either your boyfriend/husband isn’t giving you the attention that you desperately need, or when they do throw you a bone, it isn’t much of an erotic encounter.

Basically, it sucks.

Maybe you’re being cheated on, and you want to get back at the motherfucker.

Or, you just may be single and just cruising the block window shopping. Whatever your reasoning for this visit, I’m here to arouse you and fortify this hookup. I’m here to break you free of the hang ups and strongholds you’ve created for yourself.

You’re going to have to use your beak and cut through that dull shell you’re encased in. I don’t have time to teach you the ropes if you’re not all in.

Just assume the position and let my licentious mouth get to work on you swallowing your ass perspiration and beaver extract. I’m pilfering your shit from the back hiding my face and lips in your background.

I wish I could snap a picture of your face while my muzzle is in the depths of your anal fixture, but a nigga isn’t Superman or that other cat, Captain Save a Hoe; I don’t have their supernatural abilities.

Remember, I’m the “Mouth Man”, though. And, there is no other. I vanquish your chassis and cunny patch with authority, and I’m not apologizing for bringing you into this dirty trench of libidinous. You can retreat here with me when just a regular bout won’t hit that spot. My mouth and tongue will always step up to the plate and take care of that.

It seems of late that your sexual prowess has become a bit rusty and laden with a handicap sticker wrapped around its aura.

Does that pussy need a jumpstart?

How about that asshole: has it not seen action in quite some time?

Well, my dear: I’ve been called an Ole dirty pervert of a man. So, you’ve come to the right place where I maintenance pussies and asses and put them back in service.

First, I oil every nook and cranny with my mouthpiece. This is an intense inspection, so I have to make sure all of these working parts are in order and a go.

Does your undercarriage need a filter?

Have your fluids been topped off?

Your cunny needs flushing; I know that for sure! And, you know I have to make sure your twat is firmly encased in my mouth.

That slit hasn’t had much playing time in a while, so I had to urge her to leave the bench. I reaffirm your pussy that everything is going to be just fine; just get in the game, and enjoy yourself.

Of course, your ass wants to get some playing time in also, so I bench another one of my players to allow that thick rump to go in. Awe, my two darlings look tantalizing out there on the field showing off for daddy.

I uncover your vulva and asscheeks to get to both of their cores. A nice clit and asshole are exposed for my mouth’s taking. I rummage through the untidy mess and slap at the carnage with my prestine tongue.

But, this impeccable oral offering won’t be white as snow for long because it has now become a sin factory; I will be dipping my flesh in shit and cavernous cunt secretions. Your underside is sweaty and disgusting to look at right now with all of my drool and your lubrication caked up on my chin hairs.

But, this is the kind of mess I’ve looked forward to. You’ve got your MOJO back, my sweet pussy and ass. You rub your chassis against my mouth flagrantly with no concerns.

That’s my girl.

Enjoy a nasty mouth on that tail. Just remember, it’s mandatory that you come back frequently for preventative maintenance.

You have a warranty on parts and labor.

Last but not least: you get one free ass wash.

I’ll bust on your booty, my lady. But, you gotta call me if you need your boy, Reecie.

Remember when you came to THE FUCK HOUSE with your little .380 pistol? That was the first time a woman visited me with such authority. I had to foil your little plot, though. You know I had to pull the weapon from your back jeans pocket and get to business. Not even a pistol yielding, sexy-ass chick as yourself could intimidate me in my shit.

When you get to my FUCK HOUSE, there’s nothing but ass licking, dick devouring and pussy-eating antics over the horizon.

I lead you to my bedroom and snatched your clothes off to gather up glances of your naked frame. Your body was delightful. You told me you hadn’t had any type of sexual contact in over six months.

I already craved that luscious ass, but you mentioning your lack of sustenance marked my cue to just get it on. I pushed you onto my bed and instantly shoved my face in between your legs. I licked at your clit until your pussy lathered up and produced an abundance of fluid. I ransacked your asscheeks and turned up on that asshole.

You pulled my eager face into your hindside’s bosom and kept me pinned there. My dick was a hardened mess in the middle of that chaos and disorganization.

Fuck it; I had to mix up the uncertainty. I pulled my dick from my shorts and presented your slit with its erection. I worked my manhood into your wetness and began stroking like I was that Nigga, Clarence Carter.

I held your legs up to your ears and dug into your hiny with pizzazz. I hit your pussy with such an authoritative drilling that your pussy spewed its ejaculation all over my bed. The more I stabbed at that wetbox, the more it squirted and enveloped my abdomen with its precipitation. I marveled at what I had done, but I wasn’t done with you.

I reintroduced your pussy and ass to my mouth and smothered your cavity. You kept on squirting and yelling out such things that weren’t meant for strangers’ ears to hear.

I wasn’t going to let you hog all the sex, so I climbed atop you once more and pounded you until we both came.

Woman, don’t you get an idea of thinking you’ll be brandishing your firearm after calling me; you will not be forcing me to eat that pussy unless I agree.

You and I are damned to the underworld because we’re conceiving with our mouths just like weasels. We’re wretched humans yearning to get our crotches battered hither and thither to the rhythms of our dirty tongues.

Neither you nor I share any shame in our deeds. We’re both uninhibited and lecherous by nature. We’re tormented if we can’t partake of the other’s cunnilingus or fellatio at any given moment.

I live to feed off of your excitement after I’ve gone down on you and become affiliated with your nasty bottom. Raw licks are an accompaniment that you crave and just can’t do without. You fight like hell and ask God to remove your temptations and wanton lusts, but you’re on your own in this lascivious lair.

I need you to walk in the flesh; fuck the spirit.

Get down here in the trenches with me and turn up.

Expose that naked ass to me for my mouth to devour.

Your pussy is up for the taking, too.

Both of those pieces of your hot nether region are mine to plunder and bring under my spell.

And don’t forget, I need that mouth of yours also. This isn’t a one-way street. I need those menacing jaws and lips clamping down on my erection. I need that tender tongue caressing my hot balls and the neck of my pole with intensity.

Better yet, let’s do this 69 thing where we can enjoy each other’s oral festivities simultaneously. That’s so sexy and nasty: you sucking my dick while I’m running my tongue across your ass and swampy pussy. I’m the pussy-and-ass meister, and you’re the dirty-mouth termagant. My dick surpasses your tonsils and rests in your throat. Your pussy engulfs my tongue. This little affair is “splendidness” at its finest. We will forever be in each other’s clutches torturing a hind and dick like rampant street walkers and fiends.

You know what: we are confined to these dirty deeds; there’s no shame in our tendencies.

I’m just an email, text or phone call away from bringing you to ecstacy with my invigorating oral sabotage and fucking skills.

Never hesitate…

Are you a pretty, petite white girl or PAWG, a chocolate-coated vixen, a yellow woman, brown as in Mexican or bronze like a Puerto Rican?

Every other pussy in the world pales in comparison to yours. I want you to text me, especially after you’ve fought back that inhibited nature of yours (you know, you fighting your desire to have my face and erection in between your thighs taunting your nakedness).

Your ass comes to mind.

And speaking of your asshole, I want to fuck it, finger it while I’m licking your pussy.

I want to stick my tongue in it and dig around in that sweet anal cavity. There’s honey in there, and I’m a badger. I want to devour your ass patch. I want to taste on it. Please let there be a cornucopia of seasoning for the tasty dish.

I’m a cold-hearted snake, so of course I don’t play by rules. I aim to manipulate your pussy with my mouth.

You’re hesitant, though. You pissed me off sending me emails time and time again but never responding to my response. But once I got into your ass and called you out on your shit (playing games), then you replied with attitude.

You know what, just like Jimmy Carter allowed the draft dodgers to return back home to the United States during his Presidential term, likewise, I’m allowing my prodigal princesses to come home to me. Enough time has passed for both of our wounds to have healed.

Now, savor my mouth on your fanny trap. I want my tongue interred in that asshole for minutes at a time piercing at that anal debris and those ass walls. Work your hips on my tongue with vigor. Tell me to fuck that ass hard like I mean it. I’m debasing you and binding your rump to my oral trap. I’m making you out to be this disgusting starlet in this ongoing scenario.

Your pussy and ass are reaping the benefits of a tongue that has planted ton after ton of my fertilizer in your soil. Your pussy and ass cries out for more while my eager tongue fits accommodate your wishes.

I’m at the point of no return. I will never be able to assimilate myself back into society now. I’m a pussy-and-ass-eating-and-fucking menace that can’t be thwarted from my position.

All I ever imagine is how I’m going to open up your cavernous underbelly to caress that anticipating camel toe and its adjacent sisters of debauchery. Your jam box throbs from my hot breath only being within inches of encountering your moist hole.

You sigh before my mouth or tongue even grapples you. The moment my oral fixation does make first contact with your derriere: you’re a rambling mess.

You grip my head and face like you’re some lioness digging into a meal she’s crept up on after not feeding for weeks.

You try to conceal your agony because you have neighbors on all sides, but the show is futile.

You disrobe your taste and become a babbling idiot screaming for dear life. I pour my tongue and mouth bombardment onto your wetness in waves.

You can’t contain the gallons upon gallons of my oral execution on your hiny, licking at your soiled pussy and pummeling your asshole.

You rock your hips on my engaging mouth and beg me to insert my spiraling tongue into your hatch.

I do.

I feel your patch’s roughness all on my tongue as my straight flesh explores you. I look up into your eyes to get a gauge on where you are during this moment.

Those eyes are rolling out of control in between trying to focus on me. I have you right where I want.

You’re an inhabitant in my thirst trap, and it doesn’t seem as though you’ll be breaking free of me anytime soon.

My mouth continues the onslaught: breaking your pussy and ass down more and more as the clock ticks.

You put up one last stand at this battle for your sexual purity. It seems to me that not long from now you’ll be signing that treaty because my mouth has made you succumb to its brute force.

My tongue will have insisted that your ass and clit have no choice but to relent and cease fire.

I know; it’s not fair.

Are you now going to call me and spread those asscheeks and vulva lips for your boy, Reecie?

There is this semblance that you’re put together tightly, but nothing can be further from the truth.

You’re a sexual wreck!

You want your pussy and ass cannibalized by an uninhibited mouth: one that won’t find anything too nasty and disgusting for the moment. I’m unraveling you like you’re layer upon layer of pussy tissue.

Riddle me this: ever had that pussy and ass raped by an eager mouth? The shit is joyous, and an orgasm is inevitable.

There’s no dodging my mouth rants.

I know your sexy ass is suspicious. You want to know if I’m just a facade: you know, SMOKE AND MIRRORS. You want to know if I’m simply some illusion.

Come on, and find out for yourself. Dive into the unknown. I’m a sex genie. Rub me three times, and let me grant you innumerable wishes in this mouth-on-snatch-and-bottom tale. Here in this place there’s simply you and I intertwined in some flagrant marinade.

There’s no time for shyness and escapism. There’s no time to beat around bushes and twiddle fingers.

We’re now unmasked and in the thick of it.

My mouth confronts your bare hind and dares your succulent rear end to turn and run. If such a thing transpires, my tongue is giving chase like Freddy or Jason in those horror flicks. And, you’re going to fall to the ground: just like white girls often do in those films.

NOW, that butt and cunny hole are mine for the ravaging. I’m peeling open your snare and piercing your clitoris with my saliva-coated tongue. You scream the moment my oral scheme plants its flag on your soil. I rub my thumb against your pulsating ass while I’m licking at your snatch. I hold your asscheeks open, too.

I’m gaining so much leverage and one upping that ass. You’re mine; there’s no “ifs”, “ands”, or “butts” about it. I’m giving your pussy and ass the entire surface of my tongue in all of its glory.

I’m a Legend in My Own Time right now. So, it doesn’t take long for my tongue to disarm and own your undercarriage. I taste at you until you’re a lump of pudding in my vile mouth.

Come see what THE MOUTH OF THE SOUTH be bout!

Do you love intimacy: how about my mouth?

Have you ever had it before?

What about a rim job: ever had that from me?

If not, I can bet all my chips that you’re curious and on the fence.

Why wouldn’t you be?

A Nigga has The Best Mouth in Atlanta; that’s what I’ve been told. I’m trying to get crowned MOUTH OF THE SOUTH.

I’m trying to bring chaos in your life. That structured shit is for the birds. There’s a hurricane brewing in the haunts of your pussy and ass, and not just any man can stomach the catastrophe.

I’ve trained with FEMA, the Redcross and the United States Coast Guard for this mission. A brother is ready to get his face pushed around and beaten in this pussy-and-ass storm. The precipitation is thick; my mouth rains on your twat and its sister (those thick ass bars). You’re drenched, but you can’t get in from the weather.

You want to flee my mouth, but you just can’t muster up the strength to get away from my tongue. My tongue is a lasso pulling that raunchy pussy and ass into my space. With all of this yanking and tugging from outside forces, you need to seek shelter.

But, you can’t: my mouth has you pressed in. My oral tactics can’t be evaded. The pressure from the suction of my lips pin you in place. The swipes of my daring tongue keep you in limbo like a frog in slowly heating up water. You know you need to find sanctity in an evacuation shelter, but your need for oral sex outweighs reason.

You’re out in the open in the middle of a storm getting your pussy and ass ransacked by the elements. A brisk tongue cultivating your meaty rump and navigating the channel of your warm pussy is breaking news right now. Reports of an insane woman rubbing her pussy flagrantly while a hot, nasty mouth copulates with her asshole barrels through the wires.

You sigh madly, and you’re caught up in this intense affair where you choose not to free yourself from this trap: THIS INSANITY. That’s fine because I’m here with you taking advantage of your female parts with my devious mouth until you spray your cum on my tongue.

Are we done?

Are you a shy and reclusive woman, or are you freaky and lose your mind during a pussy licking? If you’re standoffish and retreating, let my tongue work its madness on you until you sprout from your shell. I need to compel you to be my little cuddle bunny. I want your shy ways to dissolve as my thirsty tongue spreads across your countenance.

I know your once still body will speed up its oscillations while I have way with you. Sighs of madness are going to race from you. My saliva will coat your pussy and clit as I work every imaginative scheme on you. I’m going to suck at your clit with erotic tugs, and I’m going to lick at your sweet breasts with dainty swipes. I’m going to peel open your ass cheeks and subdue your asshole with my mouth and tongue.

You’re now excited and all in; you’re playing along to my kinky mouth game. You’re playing your part now and pinning my face upon your genitalia. If you’re a tantalizing starlet, there’s no need for me to butter you from your shell! As soon as we’re in each other’s presence and our eyes meet, it’s on. I’m tugging at your garments and rushing my tongue inside of your mouth.

You’re pushing your clothes to the floor, and I don’t have to tell you to get on your back and receive my eager mouthpiece. Your moans rush from your face, and your hips join my chaotic pulses as I sip from the cunnilingus and ass-gulping cup. I lick at your pussy and ass slowly to fuck with you, making you enjoy my nasty offering.

You command me to keep licking your pussy and ass, and I’m subdued.

I continue to.