Please, please please my fair ladies reserve your comments, and keep them to yourselves until you’re ready to hook up with me.

I’m overwhelmed and appreciative of the calls for me to produce erotic literature (Hint: I’ve already written and published tons of erotic books.), but let’s really just handle this shit currently at hand: me nibbling and fucking at that slit and rump.

Now, with all that being written, let’s get down to business. I’ve spun a pussy-and-ass-eating web, and I’m here to catch you up all in its sticky appeal. And once you’re enthralled in my snare, there’s no escaping my mouth. I can feel you on my silky makeshift concoction struggling to free yourself, but it’s to no avail. I approach from nowhere to feed on you. My little hiding spot shields me from the elements until I’m ready to pounce on that pussy and ass with my dick, mouth and tongue.

What are you thinking now as I inch my way over to you?

Is your complete destruction over the horizon as I nibble on you bit by bit insisting that I don’t rush the feeding?

Do you want me to devour you quickly and just get it over with, or would you prefer to sit back and stare as I have way with you?

I’m an apex predator that has survived this long because of mere evolution.

It hasn’t taken long for the Stockholm Syndrome to set in as you sit in my trap wanting my mouth to taunt your body. I deflower your pussy with ease and spread your asscheeks, milking them of any moisture or precipitation that has developed because of your nervous disorder. Your hands and arms are nowhere to be found because they’re attached to my Web of Destruction. I lick at your tangy bottom haphazardly as if I have all of the time in the world to finish you off.

I’m torturing you, gazing into your eyes periodically to see how you are handling my mouth assault.

Sometimes I can be very vindictive, especially if you’ve teased me on multiple occasions before stumbling across my hideaway in the wild.

Your eyes tell me to rape you with my mouth. You squirm around in my web as if you’re struggling to free yourself…

Yes, I know I’m a disgusting piece of work. I don’t need for you to tell me that.

Do you find me repulsive and sickening?

Great, we’re getting somewhere now!

I’m a nasty-mouth motherfucker that taunts a pussy and clean ass with my menacing mouth and tongue. I cleanse asses with this oral tool with painstaking accuracy. Every tug and press of my tongue’s flesh is calculated and aims to produce pleasure to your hind.

When you respond to me, be ready to play right now. If you’re not ready to get your pussy and ass eaten ASAP, go play in someone else’s email box.

I don’t need you communicating with me while you’re at work or any of that.

I’m about tasting at your sweet cunny and ass box at this moment.

I’m about driving you crazy and bringing you to a dazed state in the present.

Make my mouth work to bring you to orgasm.

Make my tongue work magic on your bottom until you shiver and quiver like an uninhibited nutcase.

I’m not this nice guy that’s here to lead you down the yellow brick road.

I’m a horrid, selfish being here to satisfy my ass-and-pussy-eating fetishes.

I’m here to send your pussy and ass into oblivion.

I’m here to fuck your pussy with angles until you slobber all over the place.

I’m not here to play with you.

Don’t ask me a million questions about my dalliance before you; that doesn’t matter. It’s none of your concern. You’re the most special woman in my life right now.

Your pussy and ass are under my spell, under my complete control.

Don’t fight the urge to contact me and meet with me even if you’ve stared at my ads for years and never responded to me. I’m here for you. I’m the a la carte. I’m your sidepiece. Or, I can be your meal.

Step away from the screen, and get over here; join me in my bed. Get your pussy and ass eaten by my eager mouthpiece.

Just so you know, I’m no racist: I don’t discriminate. Don’t be afraid of reaching out to me. I love petite women, thick women, shapely BBWS, shapely SSBBWS, white women, Asian ones, Mexican honeys, actual African Queens, and a multitude of other worldly things.

I just love the unlimited streams of variety the female species provides: PERIOD! Let me repeat again: I’m a man that doesn’t have just one type. I appreciate an array of you.

Approach me with no inhibitions. I promise I won’t bite; I’ll snatch your sweet, gorgeous pussy up into my mouth, though. I’ll copulate with that snatch and ass with my tongue with the utmost tenacity and aggression.

Don’t come around here with that shy, reclusive shit; you’ll be put to the test. I’ll insight a riot in between your inappropriate fortress of solitude, that place that only you have been afforded the rights to playing around in as of late.

I need you to come up out of the dead of night, though; I need you to halt fiddling around in silence fingering your pussy and ass. Come out of the closet, my dear. The Bill of Rights has afforded you such heralded freedom.

We will mate like weasels. I want to bring you to the brink of destruction. I never get enough sex. That’s why I’m always scouring through this rancid world of ours for women like yourself, those that have lost their way: the downtrodden. Your slit and nearby ass is sexual gold; you just have to believe it yourself.

I have this insatiable appetite to lap at that tasty ass and that thirsty pussy until your bottom side is quenched. And, when your slit wants more of my warm mouth having way with the shadows of that pussy and rump, call me again. Neither my mouth nor tongue ever tires of grasping hold of your anticipating shades of gray. Oh America, I love eating thee.

Let’s make this country a place where all women can enjoy my face, okay?

Try my mouth out. It’s a rambling mess. It showers a hind and adjacent cunny with an overflow of oral madness.

My mouth wanders your prairie like a stranded collie that doesn’t know how to find its way home.

My tongue slides through your field like some sly serpent in search of its next meal. I’m a lucky guy, though, for I have found my sustenance.

And, I’m feeding on her right now. I’m lapping up your tasty bottom leaving no form of debris behind.

My mouth is accosting your underside with intensity waiting for your screams to permeate the air.

My ears yearn to hear your responses to me pillaging your rump. Spreading your ass extremities and digging around in them is my specialty.

My tongue is a jackhammer breaking up your shyness as it disembowels you. What’s left are morsels of your clit, pussy and ass waiting for me to devour your body’s cavities even more.

This shit isn’t close to being finished, my wading maniac. You’re in the middle of this cunnilingus, this wave-ridden ocean, and you’re fighting to keep your composure.

How can you, though?

How can you stay afloat while enjoying the feats to your tail?

Multitasking can prove to be a challenge at this very moment, wouldn’t you agree?

Continue to twerk that ass to my savage bludgeoning and chaos regardless of what’s before you, though.

Hootie and the Blowfish say, “Hold my hand.”

I think you should adhere to the advice while I’m performing these unheard of rituals to celebrate this oral achievement.

Mask my face with your entire ass and its twitching pussy. Stare into my soul during this procedure, the one that entails my mouth filtering your pussy-and-rearend secretions.

I’m game, and I will never falter; I mean that shit from the depths of my esophagus. I will always fight the good fight to make your tail and scrumptious vaginal pie adore my appearance.

I promise never to evade that difficult task, the one that insists that I continue on licking and sucking at that clit methodically until I come up with a way to make you ooze forth your orgasm.

You’re going to have to try my mouth out, though…

Don’t just stand there.

Do something.

Fulfill a fantasy.

Engage my mouth because it’s a nasty piece of work. I eat pussy like a seasoned beast. Don’t escape this moment. Take advantage of this opportunity to have an able-bodied sexual being taunting your pearl tongue haphazardly at first.

I love to tease.

I love to spread my tongue across your pussy’s expanse lightly. This creates a dawn of intensity. You’ll want me to continue my tasty ordeal.

But, I’m pretty sure you’ll also want to savor it.

You’re at a crossroad.

Believe me, I know the feeling — an orgasm is wondrous, but it has to come at the proper time after all options have been exhausted.

I taste, and taste, and taste.

Enjoy me.

Get intoxicated from my oral juices. Absorb my mouth, tongue, and even my throat because I’m working like hell to cause your anatomy to spew forth its dynamic apparel.

I aim to eat away at your vulnerable barrier. I think you wanted to fight the thought of hooking up with me at first, wandering hither and thither in your mind.

The veil has been lifted; you’re mesmerized with my mouth appeal. I lick at your clit some more like an innocent kitten does a bowl of warm milk.

Your pussy juices are heated to the taste also, so I feel comfortable. I don’t want to get complacent, so I open up your ass and dive face first into its catered bliss.

You sigh.

I breathe harder.

You taunt your perky nipples.

I lick my fingers and lend you a hand with your breasts. I make you hurl your tongue around my index finger and engulf it in your wet mouth.

You hold on to my head and multitask, continuously giving me cues. I understand every command without you ever even uttering a word.

Your pussy leaks its wetness. I use that same moisture to spread across your aching ass. You sigh once more and finally speak.

You tell me it feels good and not to stop.

I’m in awe. I don’t.

My face and mouth can be your toilet seat that you rest your underside upon.

My tongue can be the tissue that wipes away your pussy and anal debris.

I’m reckless I’ve been told. I’m a barbarian that spews forth whatever is on my mind. I can’t help the condition. I AM what I AM.

Right now, I want to devour your pussy and ass with my face diving into your murky abyss as though the unknown was a pool. I want to savor every last lick of your pussy and clit. I want to lap up every piece of your anal nectar. I’m a madman. I’m a recluse. I should be ashamed of my lascivious mood, but I’m not.

Instead, I’m a pussy-and-ass-eating beast. I have no regard for what the outside world thinks of me. I exist in the shadows like a vampire hiding away during the daylight hours unless you come to me and partake of my hearty tongue. I must feed on you: every single FUCKING drop of your anal hole. I must taste of your clit after it has sprouted.

I’ve tried like hell to escape this entanglement I’m apart of, but your slit and ass flaps continue to draw me in: QUITE METHODICALLY. Your pussy and ass are a sight for my sore eyes. Just the whiff of your odorous cunny sends me into a mental fit. I find myself pawing through the walls to get to you because you’re on the other side naked and dripping wet.

We were once separated, but my mouth has found you. Digging into your ass haunts with my anticipating tongue is my job from here on out. You arching your back and screaming for dear life as my mouth mates with your vulva and clitoris is my undying passion. Feed me your sweet asshole. Feed me your clit. Feed me your breasts. Feed me all of you. BITCH, I mean it!